It is Spring Break over here. I had plans for fun outings, trips to the library, seeing some friends! Turns out, my kids had other plans. One has a fever and the other can't stop vomiting. So much for leaving the house this week.
It has been a rough year for our family with sick. It started out with some health scares early in the school year with my eldest daughter, then, since about October, we have been battling some sort of stomach bug, flu, or cold. No amount of lysol, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, essential oils, wellness dancing (that's not actually a thing, but I decided to try it anyways because it entertained me) could keep it away. If you have a sure fire way to keep from getting sick please impart this wisdom because I.AM.DONE.
However, even though we have been sick FOREVER, it seems, I have had a lot of time to read. Books are my love language. I love pouring over a good book, sifting through the pages, dog earring corners for my bookmarks, high-lighting my favorite lines. I have had a great opportunity to feed my soul this year. Something I had lost in the hustle and bustle of having a lot of kids. You big family mamas and mamas of littles will feel me, sitting down is basically a vacation. There's always someone getting into something, coloring on a wall somewhere, peeing in the shower, trying to escape out a window... Oh, that's just my kids? Never mind, no one pees in the shower here :).
Two books I am reading right now that I am loving are Unseduced and Unshaken: The Place of Dignity in a Woman's Choices by Rosalie de Rosset
Rosalie de Rosset does a wonderful job in this collection of essays connecting dignity and choice. That there is dignity in being a Christian woman. She uses classic novels such as "Jane Eyre" and "Pride and Prejudice" to connect dignity and its relevance to today.
The second book is Restless by Jennie Allen
I am just starting it, but I can already tell I'm going to love it. She speaks truth and wisdom in these pages. She is relatable and funny. One thing that caught my eye early on in the book was the line on page 18, "Those of us who have been saved have been set apart for a great purpose----- and that great purpose is actually not a secret: we are to know God and make Him known" [emphasis added by me].
I have struggled deeply all this year and, if I am being honest, all last year as well. I have had a lot of time alone with my thoughts, sometimes the raw honesty that meets with me helps me grow. Sometimes it's not honesty I meet with. Sometimes I meet with insecurity and lies. The lies that tell me I am not good enough, that the ministry I am doing isn't right. That I somehow misheard God and am just doing my own thing. That tutoring wasn't easy and I was letting everyone down. That I'm just not cut out for this homeschool thing because HOLY MOLY THE HOUSE IS ALWAYS STICKY AND I CAN'T KEEP MY FLOORS CLEAN. I honestly have felt restless. Like I was just missing something and I started to feed into these lies. So when I read that line in her book it stopped me in my tracks. Classical Conversations' motto is "to know God and make Him known". It was like an "aha" moment for me. That all these things are connected. That God has a greater plan and my limited vision was blinding me. It was a sweet balm to my soul letting me know "you're on the right path, quit listening to the enemy's lies".
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people..." Ephesians 1:19 (NIV)
What are you reading this month?